Why Yoplait ads suck

June 20, 2010 at 7:15 pm (ads, made of fail)

Man, I hate Yoplait ads. The latest one shows a woman staring into a refrigerator at a mostly whole cheesecake, agonizing over how much she can have. Should she have a small slice? A medium slice with celery sticks later? A large slice while jogging in place to burn off the calories (never mind that this woman is already what most of us would consider thin)? A large slice while jogging with celery sticks later? Oh, the agony! Enter Woman #2, who says, “Raspberry cheesecake – I’ve been looking forward to this all day!” as she reaches into the fridge. But does she pull out a huge slice of yummy cheesecake? No, she does not. Instead, she pulls out a cup of “raspberry cheesecake” flavored Yoplait, as Cheesecake Agony Woman exclaims that Woman #2 (who is also alarmingly skinny) has lost weight. Woman #2 extols the virtues of Yoplait. CAW is converted. End scene.

Anyone who’s ever seen a Yoplait ad before knows, of course, that this is just a variation on a theme; there’s also the one with the dude telling his buddy that he gets to eat stuff like pineapple upside-down cake and key lime pie every day (his wife keeps them in the house – bad wifey!) and he’s still lost weight. Wife catches him in his liefest, picks up Yoplait cup, and does the “ahem” face. Dude hangs up with “Um, I gotta go,” because heaven forbid his bro should realize he’s eating yogurt! That’s like, the ultimate chick food or something!

I’ll admit it: I like Yoplait yogurt. I’ve tried several brands, and find that Yoplait tastes pretty good (when it sticks to flavors like cherry, peach, and vanilla) and it’s got a decent texture. But there’s something about those ads that just squicks me the hell out. Why can’t you just have some key lime pie or raspberry cheesecake once in a while? Why should you have to settle for some vaguely-similarly-flavored-if-you-concentrate-really-hard dairy product? I mean, a lot of us want to lose weight; I’m trying to drop a few pounds before the August ballet intensive (1 month, 3 weeks to go D-: ). But what a miserable existence, spending your days obsessively counting calories and settling for “sorta tastes like”.

Of course, Yoplait is far from being the only offender – I banned Special-K from my house after an especially offensive commercial showing a perfectly thin woman going on the Special-K Diet after getting her butt stuck in a child-sized chair. And I know America has an obesity epidemic on its hands. But I’m so tired of seeing these ads showing skinny people decrying their own fatassness and shunning real food for yogurt and cereal flakes. Life is too short to not enjoy REAL food on occasion.

Now pass the chocolate raspberry cheesecake.


1 Comment

  1. Quick Hit: Why Yogurt Ads Suck « The Renaissance Pikey said,

    […] 21, 2010 Why Yogurt Ads Suck. Ditto Special K. Posted by Dani Alexis Filed in Uncategorized Leave a Comment […]

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